Hopefully, we all know about the very basic maid of honor responsibilities that goes along with plenty of other duties among the bridal party – but what about the lesser known duties?
Being someone’s Maid / Matron of Honor is a huge privilege! It means that the bride chose you to be the person to be by her side every step of the way: from planning the wedding to ensuring her special day runs smoothly!
Not all maid of honors and bridesmaids know exactly what they have to do and what they need to help with, which can be extremely frustrating for the bride – who already has her hands full with other wedding planning duties (and family drama, of course!)
So, I have created a neat checklist on all of the maid of honor responsibilities, which you can print out and use, or, if you’re the bride, you can give it to your MoH in her bridesmaid proposal box.
9 Maid of Honor Responsibilities you didn’t know about
To clarify on the Maid / Matron of Honor: The Maid of Honor is not married, but the Matron of Honor is. Their duties and responsibilities remain the same.
Among the regular duties of the maid of honor, these are included:
- Being available to the bride at all times
- Helping with wedding planning aspects wherever you can
- Helping the bride choose her wedding dress
- And delegating tasks to the other bridesmaids
But some responsibilities might be more obscure to you, especially if you don’t have a professional wedding planner by your side, too.
Let’s have a look at them:
1 | Attending the bride’s dress fittings
Even after helping her decide which wedding dress she wants to have, there will still be dress fittings afterwards to make sure she looks stunning on the day.
She will still need your honest opinion even during the 3rd fitting…
You should also be there on all the fitting days to help her with choosing jewelry and shoes that match the dress.
And of course to help her get onto platforms, and to help her get dressed and undressed.
(Grab the entire 4 page Maid of Honor duties checklist here)
2 | Go to supplier meetings
On top of helping the bride find reliable and budget-fitting suppliers, and attend wedding expos or fairs with her…
It will help her greatly if you can attend some of these meetings with her.
She might have to discuss things in detail with the suppliers, such as the photographer and DJ.
Help her with taking notes about what is being discussed with the supplier, and highlight important things like requirements from the bride and payment dates.
Help her to compare wedding suppliers and choose the right ones for her wedding needs. This can be tricky, because each supplier is different from the next. (The photography packages + pricing from photographer A might differ drastically from photographer C, etc.)
I have created a simple way for you to compare 3 suppliers at a time, for each aspect of your wedding. This printable PDF can be used for all suppliers needed to plan a wedding – over 40 suppliers to be exact, plus some blank sheets to add your own. Also, you only need to print the sheets you’re actually going to use.
3 | Cake + menu tastings
A lot of venues offer menu tastings on plated meals. And of course, you would love to taste some cake at an artisan bakery, too!
Tastings is usually a bride and groom thing, but it will help if the MOH is also present.
It helps to have an extra opinion – especially if everything tastes amazing and you can’t choose them all!
The MOH can help the couple decide on final options.
Let the MOH take notes on what the B&G choose, and also what options will be available for those with food allergies or vegans, and what the children at the wedding will eat, etc.
Pro Tip: If you’re choosing a buffet, the venue should either ask half price for kids (as they don’t eat as much as an adult), or they should offer something else for cheaper, such as a burger, fries and milkshake.
4 | Manage the bridal party
The MOH can also help the Best Man to delegate tasks to the groomsmen – especially if he is clueless about all of the wedding to do’s.
Among managing the bridal party (bridesmaids, best man, groomsmen, parents, flower girl (s) and the ring bearer), she can help everyone with choosing their accessories, jewelry, etc.
It may seem like a humongous task to manage the bridal party, but most of the time, everyone already knows how a wedding works.
Simply ask for help from the other bridesmaids when you’re stuck.
If the bride requires this, you should also be able to organize hair and makeup trials for all the ladies.
To have a look at what else the MOH should delegate in my Maid of Honor Duties checklist!
5 | Guest list + RSVP management
Unless someone else is in charge of the guest list and RSVPs, the bride and groom will need your help with this.
RSVP handing can be a pain in the butt, but someone has to do it.
You will soon realize that most wedding guests either forget to RSVP, or they completely forget about the wedding.
Ask a bridesmaid or two to help you establish the final guest count, by making calls and sending emails to confirm. For a large guest list, split it up into sections and give each bridesmaid a part.
Most suppliers expect the final head count at least two weeks before the wedding.
On top of this, you can also help the bride to address the envelopes for the invitations, or to stick postage stamps onto them.
Pro Tip: Avoid the confusion, and let everyone know you’re in charge of the guest list, and that you will ask when you need the assistance for RSVPs.
6 | Be the “Info Hub”
The bride and groom are already dealing with so much, that guests shouldn’t phone them with a billion questions each day.
Take on the task of becoming the information point for guests who want to know something about the wedding – make sure the bride adds your contact number to the invitation.
Guests normally have questions about directions, accommodations, which gift to buy, etc. So make sure you are clued up on this.
7 | The Master Wedding Checklist
Help the bride to create a master wedding checklist of everything that needs to be done.
8 | Be by her side every step of the way
This is the most important task of all. The bride shouldn’t be alone in all of this, that’s where she needs a Maid of Honor!
Make yourself available to the bride, at all times. You should be a phone call away, and if you missed her call, you should phone her back as soon as you can.
Make sure you know your duties and responsibilities, and ensure the bride that you’ve got this!
A side note on being a Maid of Honor: You are allowed to decline being someone’s MOH if they ask you to (and possibly just be a bridesmaid) – although this could possibly harm the friendship. That’s why the bride “asks” you to be one. She doesn’t order you to…
9 | Create a bridal emergency kit
Finally, be prepared for any and all situations on the wedding day!
Make sure you’re in control and ask for help if you need it.
Most importantly: don’t let the bride panic. Keep her calm, even if something bad needs rescuing before she walks down the aisle.
I have a well formulated Wedding Emergency Kit checklist which will help you put together a thorough emergency kit for the day of the wedding – and be ready for any situation!
What to do if you don’t have a maid of honor…
Don’t worry! It is not absolutely necessary to appoint a maid of honor. If you have bridesmaids, they can work together as a team which I’m calling the “bride squad”. If you don’t have bridesmaids either, you can ask a friend or family member to help you out with some wedding planning tasks.
The bride squad will have the same duties as the maid of honor, combined with the bridesmaids’ duties. I have created a checklist for all of the duties for the bride squad (which is a combination of the MoH duties + the bridesmaids duties).
Tips for the Maid of Honor:
- As I’ve already mentioned, you may decline being a Maid of Honor if you’re not up to the task…
- If you say yes – be ready for all the duties that come your way!
- Be available (on call, appointments, emails, etc.)
- Have a planner – it makes everything easier if you know dates of appointments, fittings and other planning aspects.
- Take notes all the way – the bride can’t remember everything she says to each supplier.
- Make sure you take the lead in planning and organizing the bridal shower. Have a look at this complete bridal shower planner.
If you need a full checklist on the maid of honor responsibilities for a wedding, check out my Maid of Honor Duties checklist…
I hope you’ve found this post useful, and that you enjoy being someone’s Maid of Honor!